I can’t believe the offseason is almost over! I feel like I say this every January. This may have been the best offseason that we’ve had (quite possibly the reason I haven’t blogged once). It’s just what I needed to feel ready to take on another baseball season. I know, I know…I’m not the one gearing up for 162 games but I live and breathe baseball from February-October so I cherish our time together in the offseason. 2018 made me strong. 2019 is the year of 0 resolutions. New year, same me. Less diet coke because fake sugar is bad. Celery juice is the trend but I think I still prefer grape juice aka wine.
Before I post about how wonderful this offseason has been I want to reflect on how it is so different from last year. I don’t know that I can remember last offseason that well. I was so incredibly sleep deprived (hello newborn mamas, ya feel me) and so incredibly anxious. I am going to be extremely raw with you all because I know there has to be a mama, friend of a mama, husband of a mama, someone out there who will benefit from reading this and know that they are not alone.
Sleep deprivation is normal but that doesn’t mean it’s not a bitch. I chalked up my extreme anxiety and sadness that I wasn’t basking in the newborn glory that so many moms on social media seem to do to sleep deprivation. I don’t love the newborn stage. There, I said it. Newborns are hard. Your boobs are screaming for you to feed that tiny little angel. Your body and mind are on overdrive. So many times I wished somebody else could’ve fed Tatum but I didn’t produce enough to nurse and pump so there I was feeling stranded in my own body. Every two hours of the day. And night. I cried because I felt so alone and yet Tucker was laying next to me rubbing my back through it all. Sweet Tatum would give me milk drunk smiles and it was all I needed to get through the next feed. Well, let me telllllll yall. This mama is NOT compromising her health and happiness for liquid gold next time around if I feel that extreme struggle and anxiety again. Fed is best and I kick myself for not listening to that advice. It was a cycle and I broke that cycle in February. I spent the entire season getting to know myself as a mama and proving to myself I could be a mom and still be me. I felt empowered and rested when I trusted in myself.
Mamas out there…it does get better. Your baby will eventually sleep even if it seems like you’ll never sleep again, that imaginary cry that you hear when you shower will one day not be in your head, the anxiety that comes with the length of sleep will be a distant memory, you’ll find yourself mentioning a future sibling for your sweet babe, you won’t want to rip your husbands useless nipples off and cuss under your breath as he sleeps so peacefully, you’ll come to terms with your body changing, you better refer to yourself as a milf and your new anthem will be MILF $ by Fergie, you will think the sleepless nights weren’t so bad but in reality they are a bitch ass hoe and most importantly you will know that your gut feeling is always right.
Dadas out there…you’ll get your wife back. You’ll watch your favorite shows together again at night. You better compliment her extra junk in the trunk. You’ll watch your wife become so relaxed that you may question where the child is and ask if it’s ok that they are playing independently across the room. You’ll become baby’s favorite word. Your wife needs you to be strong when she is worn down. Put the baby down and do bedtime a time or two a week so she can take a bubble bath. Encourage her. Refer to her as milf via text if you’re feeling extra. Hug and kiss her often; even though little hands are pulling on her all day…she still needs YOU.
We are a new us this offseason. We are rested. We stay up until midnight sometimes y’all and it’s OUR choice!!!! We have had the best offseason. We went to the pumpkin patch. We had our sweet babe’s first birthday party. We took family Christmas photos and smiled through the meltdown of a 14 month old who needed a snack and despised his shoes. We have celebrated Tatum’s new words. We cry because it is flying by. We laugh because our kid has to be the funniest kid ever, right? We thank the good Lord for the health of our sweet babe. We stress less. We say no to things that don’t add value to our lives and we say yes to new experiences. We drove through the IMS Christmas light display. We baby proofed the house. We cussed tripping on legos. We celebrated Thanksgiving in our home and played games until our eyes were heavy. We celebrated our 3rd anniversary with a staycation downtown Indy. I went to love on my best girl’s baby boy and was reminded that newborns are so precious. And that new mamas need help. I loved every second of that trip. Another sweet friend is welcoming a babe in July and I cannot wait celebrate their precious family. We cheer on the Pacers almost every home game. We still haven’t found a red wine that we won’t drink. We celebrate the smallest of things. We have had big family game nights that result in a nasty headache the next day. We had a wonderful Christmas. Tatum hated Santa and could care less about wrapping paper. He loved the kitchen that Tucker put together on Christmas Eve until 2:30 am. We went to Miami to celebrate a sweet couple getting married. We flew to Cincinnati at 4:30 am for Redsfest from Miami and I drank vodka water out of a coffee cup because that hangover needed to wait until Sunday. My baseball girls made me so excited for next season. Seriously, these are empowering women and I miss them dearly in the offseason and I miss the inappropriate conversations we share. Tucker and I rang in 2019 with my very best friends in Alabama. Tucker fell in love with that precious small town that I called home for so long. He found comfort in the fact that my friends had no filter and he realized that down south there is no such thing as too much alcohol. We made memories to last a lifetime. We kept the celebration going and headed to New Jersey for the most insane wedding I have ever witnessed. Amazing. Gorgeous. #discodowntheaisle LIT AF. Still trying to work off all of that delicious food.
Tucker is currently on his way home from Kansas City and heads out on the Reds Caravan next week. After that we will be packing and heading to Arizona for another spring training. I am so ready for the structure of baseball season and I am so ready to see #16’s ass in baseball pants. Last offseason I was in the trenches. Plain and simple. It feels good to really be living. Cheers to the upcoming baseball season; a season that I am extremely thankful for every single day. TB, go kill it!!!!
Happy 2019 + hugs to the new mamas,
Mrs. B
Your stories always bring tears to my eyes….crying and laughing. Thanks for sharing your us.