Mother’s Day…a holiday that I actually get to celebrate this year. Not that I didn’t celebrate the past 9 years love a holiday that calls for champagne because I was technically a mother…to Princeton. This year I am a real mama and I could not be happier. I have caught up on my sleep that I missed so much those first 5 months and I have stopped peeing my pants. Those 2 things made me feel like my next step of motherhood was bad button up collared blouses and a mom haircut. Thankfully, I didn’t spiral down the frumpy mom train. As I sit here, in Tucker’s Hickory Basketball shirt and seven year old pajama coffee mug printed pants, sip my Merlot and glance at the baby monitor, I feel like this is it. This is happiness. I have found my groove and life has been really, really wonderful. Sure, I missed out on the girls Cinco De Mayo brunch so sad to miss that one and I miss the option of being at games on time or drinking one too many shitty cheap wines and riding home with Tucker but nothing beats being a mother to Tatum.
I took Tatum for a walk last night and got him out of the stroller to take some pictures. His once naturally spiked up hair was swooped to the side almost like an Ole Miss frat boy. His once baby soft porcelain legs are now becoming covered with little bruises here and there from crawling. His innocence shines through his smile. His dimpled elbows and hands make me melt. My little baby is turning into a little boy. I took photos of him sitting on the concrete and when I went to make sure they turned out and that the sun wasn’t too bright, I absolutely melted. That little guy is my world.
Life doesn’t feel so daunting now that I am not sleep deprived. I feel like I truly appreciate being a mother. I love seeing him grow and learn new things. I miss him when he has been napping for too long (yes, TOO LONG, words that I swore I would never have the chance to say). I love how he says “hey da da, bye bye” and how he only says “MAAAA” when he wants more of his food. He tilts his head from side to side to truly examine his toys lighting up and it might be the cutest thing ever. Looking back on those early days of motherhood, I worried I may never feel the way that I feel now. I prayed that I would and told myself I was just so mother effing tired. I still stand by my motto that I am not sure I would ever say I have “baby fever” but “six month old fever” for sure. Someday. Right now we are soaking up every moment and every single day that brings a new trick or sound and I am basking in the happiness. Mother’s Day takes on a new meaning to me this year and I will happily dust off one of our best wines in honor of myself.
Thank you Tatum Elliot Barnhart for inspiring me to be my best, making me grow up, letting me see life through your eyes, challenging me, loving me unconditionally, snuggling me, making me get off of my butt every single day, reminding me to see the good in people, teaching me and most of all for making me a mama. I know that you won’t read this post because quite frankly if it isn’t The Very Hungry Caterpillar then you really don’t give a damn and you know mama doesn’t let you play on the computer. One day, you’ll read what I have written and your wife can read my blogs and maybe it’ll help when she has your first baby on the way. Until then, you’re our sunshine and I will take every kiss you give me. Mama will never break your heart, sweet babe.
Happy Mother’s Day to all of you fur mamas, baby mamas, step mamas, fill in mamas, dads that act as the mamas, whatever you wanna call it!!
Mama B