I have been waiting to say this for the last two months…..I’M BACK. I finally feel like me again except the bladder control issue and extra softness around my belly. I feel like me. I could shout it from the rooftop. It is a wonderful feeling. 2 weeks ago I posted my struggle of breastfeeding/pumping and in all honesty it was the hardest thing to put myself out there because I feared being judged. It was scary to share the dark place that I had been for several weeks but I knew I had to do it to be accountable for weaning. I had so many messages from moms and even dads who said that it was nice to read because their wives experienced a similar situation. I felt SO much support and it was exactly what I needed. I am proud to say that I made the right decision to wean. My last pump session was 2 days ago and I feel like myself again. The me that doesn’t emotionally shatter when a bottle falls off of the countertop, the me that can multitask, the me that can see the light at the end of the tunnel again, the me that does not mind that Tatum still wakes once a night, the me that can laugh again, the me that can give my attention to a conversation and remember what I just said. It feels so damn good. Yalls support was everything. Thank you. I’m so excited that the blog is going to be fun again!!! Not that it wasn’t fun but there were days when I just wanted to write that there probably wouldn’t be another blog post coming from me without a dark shadow and that this new role as a mom was taxing and you won’t want to read this shit show of a post. I couldn’t see how I would ever be rested, attentive to adult conversation or myself again. The weaning did it for me. My soul is happy. Tatum is so happy. Tucker is glad to have me back again. Prince doesn’t get told to go play with the coyotes anymore of course I never meant it but damn that dog sometimes. I am happy. I am me again.
I’m baaaaack
It feels kind of crazy to enjoy a second margarita without worry, to be able to eat dairy (Krispy Kreme you sexy little beast) and to leave the house for more than 3 hours without panicking that my boobs may explode. Tatum and I enjoyed a Reds Wives and Girlfriends brunch yesterday #tatumbruncheswithbabes and I was totally present I mean besides Tatum diving into my caesar salad and me bouncing him for 45 minutes so I could eat. It was awesomeeeee. The girls this year #goals. This season is going to be the best. I cannot wait for Tucker to wait on deck and look up in the stands and see me holding Tatum (100 percent decked out in baseball attire) and touch his helmet (while I blow a kiss, it’s our ritual). My heart may explode. I feel like I am excited again, I cut myself slack way more and hell I even gave Tatum a jar of baby food…..gasssppppppp #itwasnthomemade. I even had the patience to put together a walker for Tatum last night with only 1 cuss word! We’re happy over here and I just wanted to thank y’all so very much.
Time for me to finish the second half of my morning workout finally got a sports bra to contain these jugs that hit my chin when I do jumping jacks and reach some goals. Weird that I can think of myself again and my own goals. I can definitely say “happy mama=happy family”.
SO MUCH LOVE FOR ALL OF YOU!!!
Mrs. B
I love that you're back. I love that #itwasnthomemade! You've made it, my friend. Perfect is a mere notion that doesn't exist in the real world realm. Have a 2nd margarita & keep bouncing Tatum on your knee. And when your knee gets tired, you can use mine (@GABP). Hell, I buy you your 2nd drink! Be well
Ahhhh!!! Currently catching up on missed blog posts as this mama is getting her hair done!! I’m happy for you that you are experiencing this amazing time in your life. I also recently weaned from exclusively pumping.. I didn’t make it past a month nursing so my pump was my life. But now holy moly it feels amazing to be me again-and not be attached to that damn pump every 3 hours!! It’s also nice to enjoy a glass of wine or beer whenever I want to!