Tatum’s Birth Story
This post is written with SO much emotion, love and tears (surprise, surprise…I’m 2 weeks post babe and the hormones are as high and low as a damn roller coaster at Six Flags). So here it goes….introducing Tatum Elliot Barnhart born on Thursday 8.31.17 weighing in at a whopping 8 lbs 7 oz and 21.5 inches long.
On Wednesday August 30 I started my day with blueberry waffles and milk, gave Prince a Xanax quite frankly wishing I had a dose myself and loaded the car with my hospital bags. I videoed the entire day since Tucker wouldn’t be joining me until after the game that night and most of the videos included me crying. Crying tears of joy, excitement, nervousness, anxiousness and sadness that I was loading up to go do this induction without Tucker. I kissed Prince goodbye, threw him a treat and told him the next time I came home it would be with his brother who he had been snuggling up to for the past 39 weeks. Off I went.
I checked into the hospital at 2 pm and was given an overview of what the day and night would probably look like. They hoped I would deliver sweet Tatum by Thursday at 6 pm. I said wtf tomorrow at 6 pm WHAT TOMORROW AT 6 PM??! That seemed like a decade away. I nodded my head, searched for something to watch on TV (they didn’t have Bravo or Food Network so naturally I googled all induction related birth stories for the millionth time). My mom arrived to keep me company and hold my hand #momsrock. I started Cytotec at 2:30 pm and was given that every 4 hours for 4 rounds (with the last dose at 2:45 am). At 5:45 pm I had the foley bulb inserted to bring me to 5 cm dilated which happened around 6 am on August 31. Contractions were painful but manageable enough to sleep a little overnight. Tucker arrived around midnight and I had never been happier to see him!!! He even snuck me a bite of a cookie and sprite zero. Our angel of a doctor (seriously she is the best) came in around 7:15 am and broke my water and I got the magical Pitocin. Which gave me magical contractions. That led me to scream “f*&$ this pain. get me the epidural. NOW.” around 9 am. The contractions were in my lower back and they were NO joke. After the epidural I was able to sleep until 11 am and by that time I was 7 cm and 80% effaced. The rest of the afternoon was spent listening to a questionable labor playlist (which the doctors and nurses end up loving), begging for a popsicle, telling Tucker “we’re really doing this!!!!” and my mom coming in to touch up my makeup (that I ended up sweating off). Around 1:45 pm the back contractions came back with a vengeance and I pressed that epidural top off button back to back with little to no relief. I finally called the nurse and said “we gotta get this baby out..I think my back is breaking” The nurse, doctor and the nurse practitioner who I saw for years prior to my OB came in and sure enough it was time to push! Around 3 pm they asked us what time we thought Tatum would be born. I said 3:59 pm and Tucker said 4:26 pm. Tatum being the little lover that he is decided he would come right in between our bets at 4:13 pm #angelbabe. In between pushes Tucker told stories of when I drunkenly compared Taylor Swift to a half of a bowl of mac and cheese while Carrie Underwood was the full bowl of mac and cheese. I don’t even know. #wineandbacardi. He played “Back That Ass up”, “M.I.L.F. $” and “Strip That Down” from my labor playlist to name a few. I had a really nice chill playlist that featured some of our wedding songs but honestly I was way too emotional and couldn’t afford to cry between pushes so nodding my head to “Gold Digger” got me through it.
After 45 minutes of pushing, Tucker kissing my head and guiding me through the entire labor our beautiful baby boy was born. I immediately looked at Tucker and said “that wasn’t so bad” and burst into tears. He kissed me like it was the first time we had ever kissed and in that moment my entire world was complete. They handed Tatum to me for skin to skin and Tucker cut the cord. It was all a blur of the highest high and most beautiful moment in my life. After skin to skin Tucker held Tatum and my throat felt that funny lump of when you want to sob and can’t swallow. I have never loved him more. The tears flowed freely and we knew Tatum was made specifically for us. Thank you Lord for the most beautiful blessing. We spent 2 days at the hospital where I became familiar with breastfeeding, chowed down on my missed carbs, cried every time I saw Tucker hold Tatum and bared all for the nurses to come in and check me out every few hours. We got home on Saturday and I realized what sleep deprivation meant….2 hours of sleep in 48…prayed for my milk to come in, questioned if my body was quitting on me and cried uncontrollably at the thought of Tucker having to leave us on Sunday. The emotions after baby are no joke. Beautiful emotions and happiness that cannot be contained. I cried looking at Tatum while repeating “he’s really ours” and cried when he cried because his little voice was raspy. Sunday came and went and the goodbye to our main man was the hardest goodbye we’ve had.
Guess what though?! We’re back in Cincinnati after a long 10 days and that is the only reason I am finally able to write this post. I didn’t have the strength or emotional stability to look back at the happiest day of our lives while missing Tucker so badly but now I do. Each day brings a new challenge, happy moments, laughter, tears, nursing bras that have been leaked through and more love than I ever thought was possible. My family has been my lifesaver while Tucker was gone. I cried for my own mom like I used to when I was little and she spent almost every single night at our house with me to provide comfort and help me along the way. I have lived in pajamas for the most part, eaten whatever I’ve wanted, taken hundreds of photos, reached out to other mamas for their advice, thanked God and prayed daily for guidance in this new chapter of life. We couldn’t feel more blessed and are thankful to each and every person who has helped us these past 15 days.
To my loving Tucker…I could not do this without you. YOU are my rock. We love you so very much and ready to kick off the offseason in a few short weeks! So here’s to sleepless nights, memories, more laughter and tears, talking about baby poop over meals and celebrating with wine along the way. I love you without limit.
BLESSED AND THANKFUL,
MAMA B
P.S.- Princeton would like me to add that he has been the best big brother!
Such a beautiful story! Seems like we could compare notes on that back labor…so painful! My baby is 4months old now, and it's still an emotional roller coaster. You want them to thrive, but at the same time you just want them to remain your little cuddly baby forever. Congratulations on your precious baby boy! Thank you for sharing!