REAL SHIT

1. Going to a childbirth prep class alone was tough. This one got me so emotional. I was so proud for going in alone while everyone else had their husband or support partner. I sat awkwardly resting my head on a pillow while the other couples practiced massage techniques during contractions and I fiercely held back tears while I missed my own husband. The funny thing is that I don’t feel that Tucker needs that class…he will be the best support when I need it but for me that is what it boils down to…I don’t need him massaging my back or sitting through a 3 hour class. I just simply need him near me. I cried in my car after the class was over and told him over the phone how alone I felt and after my 5-8 minute pity party I was on my happy way to Buy Buy Baby to make some returns.
2. The thought of “what if Tucker doesn’t make it back in time and I go through the entire labor process without him” that one gets me and then I shake it off and remember what my doctor says….”you have at least a few hours…he will make it back in time” #positivethinking
3. Packing all of my stuff from Cincinnati. So many tears. I know that I get to go back to Cincinnati but it’s different this time. When I go back there is a chance that some of my girlfriends are not there because of the trade deadline. Please please please baseball gods…let us stay together!!! I will spend the last 4 weeks pretty much by myself at home…I will watch Tucker on TV, rely on FaceTime dates, miss being tucked in, miss having someone else let P out, miss goodnight kisses, miss joking and laughing at everyday things, miss asking Tucker when he looks at me from the back “do I look pregnant”, miss the last 4 weeks with my other half, cuss that I am tired of making dinner for 1, that my feet and back hurt, scream at P for knocking over trash cans when guests come over, and repeatedly tell Tucker that I miss him for him to respond most times “not too much longer my angel babe!” or “this is going to be the best off season ever”. See if he wasn’t so damn great I would be glad to have 4 weeks to myself and catch up on junk shows. I miss him and that’s that. 
4. Swollen feet that don’t fit into my shoes. I wear Oofos and no they are not the same as Crocs. Just look identical to Crocs.
5. Pretentious little complaint 😉 —my ring doesn’t fit and I miss wearing that damn diamond!

THE DOWNRIGHT RIDICULOUS:

1. I cried over drinking the last of the milk around week 8 of pregnancy. I never really cared for milk before pregnancy unlike Tucker who can drink a gallon in 2 days but pregnancy has me lovin’ milk. So I drank milk one day…the last of the milk. Tucker went to get a snack before bed and pour a big glass of milk. He was so excited until he realized there wasn’t any so he went to grab a different snack that didn’t require milk #nobigdeal. I sat on the bar stool and swore I saw his face change from little kid in a candy store to scolded kid without candy. I instantly started bawling crying. I said with tears streaming down my face “I drank the last of the milk and didn’t even tell you. I just drank it all and now you don’t have any for your bedtime snack. I am SO sorry!!!!” He looked at me like I had two heads and said “Are you crying!?!?!?!? Over milk?!?!?!?” and started cracking up which made me cry more. Full on melt down. Over me drinking the last of the milk when I wanted him to have it. He liked milk more than me and I drank it all. I can look back on this little gem of a story now and laugh but for a few weeks I got teary eyed thinking that I took Tucker’s favorite thing from him for something I didn’t even care about. LOLOLOLOL #PREGNANCYHORMONES
2. We have talked about inducing on August 30 or 31 if Tatum hasn’t come on his own. I looked at my calendar and proceeded to text Tucker “Pregnancy brain…but have July and August both always had 31 days? I thought every other month had 31” Tatum can’t be born on August 31 if it is a Leap Year. Is it a Leap Year? Lord help me. DUMB DUMB DUMB DUMB DUMB. I got a smart text back about the months of the year song in kindergarten. Pregnancy brain is real.
3. Flying off of the handle in Arizona. Our neighbor claimed Prince went to the restroom in the common area and that I didn’t clean it up and left a note on a sign to “clean up after your dog or I will report you”. I was consumed with rage when I saw that sign as we pulled up to the condo and flew out of the car before Tucker could put it in park and I smashed that sign and then got a sharpie and wrote back “I will report you for littering”. Tucker looked at me like he had no idea who I was and laughed so hard after begging me to get back inside and let it go. I wanted to make the neighbors pay for accusing us of being shitty neighbors. Literally.
4. Turning the car so sharp we were almost on 2 wheels because I saw Raising Cane’s and we both feared for our lives a little. NEEDED that chicken, toast, sauce and a Coke. Clearly this was pre gestational diabetes aka when pregnancy was fat and fun!!!
5. Speaking of food….beginning of pregnancy I had aversions to pretty much everything except toast. So when T would ask me what I wanted for breakfast or dinner I would burst out in tears because literally nothing sounded good and I hated picking where we should eat when I knew damn good and well I would get a fruit cup for an entree. I cried so much over food that it is quite embarrassing to think about. 
6. Cried when they told me I had gestational diabetes. Not because I couldn’t give in to Papa John’s large pizza anymore but because I felt like I had already failed as a mama. Not true.
7. Double chin. That shit is for the birds. Fat little pregnant birds. Reverse SnapChat camera always gets my best angle. 
8. So many more I know that I am forgetting but these are the truly ridiculous moments. Can’t even believe I am sharing the month thing with y’all. That’s just dumb AF.